Trick Mirror

Jia, you’re an icon. Bold assertions, harsh takes, and complex, multifaceted, interwoven ideas folded neatly and coherently into singular essays. Thoughtful and thought-provoking. I wish to emulate your tone of honesty, clarity, and forthrightness.

In “We Come From Old Virginia”, how you write about sexual violence against women hits the nail right on the head: it’s the doubting of your sense of reality, almost wanting something to happen to verify this reality - something to authenticate these confusing experiences that are sometimes felt more than they could ever be witnessed or described -, wondering if you are, in fact, partly responsible for these experiences. You are right in that it is never a clean story, with a beginning, middle, and end.

I used to write often about the fine line between saying yes and not saying no, about what consent even really is, how nonconsensual acts could appear seemingly very consensual for one person and not the other. Is the absence of a no, the lack of a “fight” back, a yes? The problem is, within our system, no matter the outcome in a he-said-she-said, there will be no justice for either party. It feels like women are forever condemned to explaining inexplicable moments of sexual violence or coercion, even if they know that these are not technically reportable or article-worthy experiences. No wonder some feel they must extrapolate to be taken seriously, to have this sense of reality verified. But of course, that is completely unfair to the other person, not to mention to the thousands of other women who are not exaggerating. It is such a tricky subject, and you tackle it head-on, establishing the nuances, shining a spotlight on rather than hiding from them.

It’s the layers of thought within each of your carefully-articulated opinions. It’s the meta-cognitive critiques of your own criticisms. It’s like you can elegantly put the elastic and ever-moving contradictions echoing in my brain onto paper, with coherence and quality. I cannot recommend each of these essays enough.